My Pony Died

Sydney Lingenfelter

She visited me in a dream. From the fabric of a quiet mind, Ryder appeared. Like others before her, she posed questions—curious about the mundane, though she herself embodied anything but. We shared tea in garden spaces, seated at a child’s table too small for us, yet perfectly fitting in that world. We wandered through dim alleyways after late-night gatherings, intent on procuring sweets. We spent hours reminiscing, like one would with a beloved after years apart. She had chosen her own name; it resonated before I saw her.

I manifest and shed skins by means of finding an alternative world. Drag-queen-horse-girl Ryder Cowgurl asks you to glimpse into hers. How can the art of drag be posed as a form of exorcism? Makeup, costuming, and theatrics are used to acknowledge grief, its manifestation in the body, and the ability to transform. Life can be a drag so be one. My Pony Died offers collective release and transformation through synergistic campy and sentimental tones. Inspired by my upbringing in the stables, horses become a symbol of serenity and healing. Aspects of pop culture are appropriated in the traditional nature of drag, utilizing such iconography for outrage and consolation. Ryder urges you to celebrate yourself, demonstrating unapologetic self expression. 

The queer sensibility in aesthetics referred to as camp perhaps stems from the French se camper—“to posture boldly”—or the Italian campeggiare, “to stand out.” Does camp bewilder you? It should. Is it both tangible and elusive? Like a dream is, slipping once upon wake. Camp perplexes, performs, and revels in its own paradox. Ryder Cowgurl asks you only to be aware of it. My Pony Died is sharp, yet sincere; it celebrates (as does Ryder), yet mourns (she, too, knows this). All that is beautiful and fantastical has the power to liberate. Will you allow yourself to experience it? To do so, you must open your eyes to the world like a newborn baby. 

Ryder opens doors to worlds (of which she has traveled) and she slams them shut in your face (beware). Ryder Cowgurl is jumping from universe to universe. Do not take her worlds for granted. Approach with caution, or risk unraveling. Ryder Cowgurl is looking for you.